


Five Things Bethany Sloane Never Told Anyone (And One She Did)

by Carmarthen Juvenilia (Carmarthen)



Category: Askewniverse, Dogma (1999)
Genre: 5 Things, F/F, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-11
Updated: 2011-05-11
Packaged: 2017-10-19 06:14:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/197846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carmarthen/pseuds/Carmarthen%20Juvenilia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The title is pretty self-explanatory</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Things Bethany Sloane Never Told Anyone (And One She Did)

**Author's Note:**

> I found this on my hard drive; I have no memory of writing it, but it was probably prompted in chat.
> 
> Poor Liz.

### 1.

Bethany Sloane almost fucked Jay once, when she was very drunk, but he was _too_ drunk. Instead he gave her the second-best oral sex of her life and passed out on her floor.

"We will never, ever speak of this," she told him the next morning as she handed him coffee and aspirin.

### 2.

Bethany _had_ found Bartleby attractive on the train, not so much because he was charming but because he reminded her strongly of an ex-boyfriend who had been a condescending asshole but fantastic in bed.

### 3.

Sometimes Bethany thinks about converting to Episcopalian so she could be ordained. Having faith again makes the world glow around her in bright colors and she wants badly to share this feeling. She's pretty sure it's all the same to God, but the Metatron would probably disapprove.

### 4.

The best oral sex of her life was Liz, and that was a mistake because Liz was her friend and Bethany was straight. Liz cracked jokes and pretended it never happened. Bethany couldn't quite bring herself to confess, because it wasn't God she needed absolution from.

### 5.

Throughout her pregnancy she had nightmares about the sound of beating wings. They stop when Ariel is born. Liz suggested the name--lion of God--and Bethany thinks it is perfect.

### 6.

Bethany is sitting and drinking with the Metatron in a ridiculously upscale sushi bar in New York. He's buying; Bethany suspects she is still in her bed in New Jersey, Ariel sleeping in her crib by the window.

"Sometimes," she slurs, halfway through their third bottle of sake, "I'm so afraid I won't live up to Her expectations. She's just so--" Bethany gestures wildly. "And I'm--you know--"

"Aren't we all," the Metatron says drily, and pours her another shot.


End file.
